Often, God uses children to teach you an important lesson. Last night I was reading the Bible with my daughters before bed. We were looking at 1 Samuel 8, where Israel asks for a king ‘so that they can be like all the nations around them’ (1 Sam 8:20). It’s a tragic moment in history.
Israel, who was called by God to be set apart from the nations, so that the nations might come to know God (Exodus 19:4-6). Israel, who was called by God to be live differently, causing the surrounding nations to be amazed at how good God is (Deuteronomy 4:6-8). That same Israel who was called to be distinct from the nations, was now wanting instead to be just like the nations. To fit in.
It’s a tragic story, and one that has big implications for us today as God’s people. I tried to help my daughters (aged 3 and 5) see the connection.
“That’s a bit like us today, isn’t it girls? We’re called to be different so that we can bless others, aren’t we?” They seemed to be struggling to understand (understandably!), so I tried to make it a bit more concrete. I turned to my oldest daughter, who goes to kindy and has just turned 5: “Are we a bit different from our friends at kindy darling? Do your friends know Jesus like you do? Do they love Jesus too?”
Immediately her face turned, and she started sobbing. My wife and I were startled at first, and confused. Why was she so upset? Was she being bullied at school because she’s a Christian? I asked her what was wrong, but she was too upset to get a word out.
I comforted her while she continued to cry, until after about a minute, she blurted out through tears: “It’s so sad that my friends don’t know Jesus! I want them to know Jesus! Mum, why didn’t we tell them about Jesus at my birthday party? [her 5th birthday party was last week]. When can we tell them about Jesus so they can know him too?”
Even while she spoke, hot tears ran down her face.
An Overreaction?
Was she overreacting? At one level it might seem like it. We all have friends who don’t know Jesus, but the thought of it doesn’t bring us to tears. It feels normal that many people we know don’t know Jesus. We’re used to it. And if you’re anything like me, we’re rarely bothered by it.
But of course, it’s not my daughter’s reaction that is out of place. It’s mine.
I’ve become desensitized to the tragedy of people not knowing Jesus. I’ve become desensitized to the magnitude of what it means for someone to reject Jesus and live this life without him. And to face eternity without him.
Because of course, the stakes couldn’t be higher. The Bible is clear that those who don’t know Jesus will receive perfect justice for the way they have lived. They’ll receive justice for all the wrongs they have committed against other people, and justice for all the wrongs they have committed against God. And while we might be naively optimistic about our own goodness, the Bible is not. Jesus says that even the best of us are evil (Matthew 7:11), that we fall short of God’s loving standard (Matthew 5:43-48), and that our rebellion against God puts us in danger of hell (Matthew 5:29-30).
Now of course, my 5yr old doesn’t grasp all of that. But intuitively, she senses how great a tragedy it is that her friends don’t know Jesus. She cares about them, so she wants them to know Jesus like she does.
A Wake-Up Call
This was a big wake-up call for me. It was a reminder how uncaring I can be about the eternal fate of the people around me. How little it bothers me that people I know are on the path to facing an eternity without Jesus.
I’ve done a lot of evangelism training this year in campus ministry, and as I’ve reflected on my own experience and that of the students I’m training, I’ve realised that perhaps the biggest obstacle to Christians being active evangelists is not lack of methods, but lack of desire.
It’s great to be trained and equipped with skills and methods for evangelism, but even with all the training in the world, if I don’t really want to evangelise, I won’t do it. I won’t take advantage of the opportunities God gives me. I won’t try to make opportunities to share about Jesus. I’ll be passive, even reluctant, to talk about my faith.
But if someone has a strong desire to evangelise, if they want their friends to know Jesus and they’re earnest and prayerful and just long for those around them to know Jesus, they’ll be a much more effective witness, even without great training and skills. If I had to choose, I’d take an untrained evangelist who is passionate and earnest any day of the week!
Which brings me back to my 5yr old.
I have grown comfortable with the fact that people around me don’t know Jesus. She hasn’t.
I’ve become desensitised to the eternal fate of those around me. She hasn’t.
She has a deep care for those around her, and desperately wants them to know Jesus. Too often, if I’m honest, I don’t.
It was a reminder for me to pray that God would help me to see people as he does. As people who are dearly loved, immeasurably valuable, and whose eternal destiny hangs in the balance. C.S. Lewis once famously said,
“There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal. Nations, cultures, arts, civilizations – these are mortal, and their life is to ours as the life of a gnat. But it is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub and exploit – immortal horrors or everlasting splendors.”
Lord, please soften my heart to care more about the eternal destiny of those around me. Give me the heart of my 5yr old, to care more deeply about those who don’t yet know Jesus.
Hi Ben, I too care about the lost – it is often on my heart and my mind. Right now, due to the Sovereignty of the Lord, circumstances have forced me to share the house of my sister and her husband, which has also given me close contact with my brother, a very closed group of people – all hostile to the Lord.
But, we must remember – salvation BELONGS to the Lord, only He can save – none of His sheep is ever lost! There is a timing in Christ, where He and He alone calls – and if He chooses to use you, you will know when that happens.
I came to the Lord, about 27 years ago – alone in my car, listening to a cassette of a minister whose teaching I don’t even agree with now – but He perfectly CHOSE that method and saved me.
Our God is Sovereign, He alone made us – and calls and His plans NEVER fail.
Thanks for sharing Steve, that’s so true! It’s amazing how God works in his perfect way and timing.
Ben, my church had your item in our church newsletter (suitably referenced), and I feel compelled to express my hope that you are not tracking through each chapter of 1 Samuel with your daughters – there’s much that is unsuitable for children e.g. God commanding the Amalekite genocide in Ch 15.
I also read in your article the potential for guilt feelings in your FIVE year old daughter that people will go to hell because of her inaction. Were they tears of anxiety?
If you read worldwide blogs of exvangelicals deconstructing their faith because of trauma induced by a wrathful view of God, you might think twice for your kids sakes.
Hi Nick, thanks for your comment. I am indeed tracking through each chapter of 1 Samuel with the kids. They are enjoying it and we’ve found it very helpful. Not to worry, I can assure you that what motivated my daughter’s tears was not guilt or anxiety, but rather love. She prays often for her friends and loves them, and wants them to know Jesus like she does. It’s beautiful.
I have indeed read many accounts of people who have walked away from the church, and who have problems with ‘a wrathful view of God’. But the Bible (not to mention Jesus himself) clearly teaches about not only God’s love but also his wrath and judgement, so I will continue to teach that to my kids. I want them to grow up with a robust and biblical view of God, not a watered-down and lopsided view that talks about God’s love but not his wrath. The latter is a lopsided misrepresentation that is shaped more by 21st Century Western sensitivities than it is by the Bible. I’ll stick with Jesus’ view of God any day of the week.
It is true that some ‘exvangelicals’ claim that a wrathful view of God contributed to their leaving the church. But if you look at the statistics, you’ll find that churches that minimise the biblical teaching about God’s righteous judgement are the ones that are shrinking, while churches that stand firm on the full counsel of Scripture (even the unpopular bits) are the ones that remain healthy and are even growing.
But of course, even if it didn’t lead to ‘church growth’, I’ll always opt for teaching my kids a faithful, robust, and biblical vision of God, even when that happens to run counter to our culture’s current whims.