On January 8, 1956, five young missionaries were speared to death by Huaorani tribesmen in the Ecuadorian Amazon. They were young – four in their late twenties, one in his early thirties – and between them they left behind five widows and nine young children.
One of the them, Jim Elliot (centre in the picture above), had only been married to his wife Elisabeth for two years before his death, and he left behind a ten month old daughter Valerie.
Their deaths were tragic, but not entirely unexpected. They had been trying to make contact with the Huaoranis (who at the time were known as ‘Aucas’) to share the gospel with them. The Aucas had a fierce reputation among the nearby tribes as killers, and a long history of spearing to death anyone they came into contact with.
So when these five men tried to make contact with the tribe, they knew they were taking a huge risk. And this raises a difficult question: did these five men renege on their responsibility to care for their wives and children? Isn’t a man’s first and primary responsibility to care for his own family?
Many people have criticised them for taking unnecessary risks. Shouldn’t they have played things safe so that they could care for their families?
‘No Question About Who Came First’
Well, that’s certainly not how Elisabeth Elliot or the other wives saw it. They knew the risks just as well as their husbands. But they also knew who came first. In her book “Through Gates of Splendor,” Elisabeth Elliot shares about a conversation the wives had with each other mere weeks before the death of their husbands. She writes,
“The other wives and I talked together one night about the possibility of becoming widows. What would we do? God gave us peace of heart, and confidence that whatever might happen, His word would hold…. Each of us knew when we married our husbands that there would never be any question about who came first – God and his work held first place in each life. It was the condition of true discipleship. It became devastatingly meaningful now.
It was a time for soul-searching. A time for counting the possible cost. Was it the thrill of adventure that drew our husbands on? No, their letters and journals make abundantly clear that these men did not go out as some men go out, to shoot a lion or climb a mountain. Their compulsion was from a different source. Each had made a personal transaction with God, recognising that he belonged to God, first of all by creation and secondly through redemption by the death of his Son, Jesus Christ. This double claim on his life settled once and for all the question of allegiance….
To these men, Jesus Christ was God, and had taken upon himself human form in order that he might die, and by his death provide not only escape from the punishment which their sin merited, but also a new kind of life: eternal, both in length and in quality. This meant simply that Christ was to be obeyed. And more than that, that He would provide the power to obey. The point of decision had been reached. God’s command, “Go and preach the gospel to every creature,” was the categorical imperative. The question of personal safety was wholly irrelevant.”
‘The Condition of True Discipleship’
According to Elisabeth Elliot, putting Jesus before family was not just an optional extra for gung-ho missionaries, but as she put it, a “condition of true discipleship” for every Christian. And she didn’t make that up. In Matthew 10, Jesus said, “Anyone who loves his father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves his son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me; and anyone who does not take up his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.”
Jesus’ words are extremely challenging. In our Western culture, we often idolise the family and put it first before everything else (even while giving lip service to the idea of putting God first). I know that’s a challenge I struggle with.
What does it look like to put Jesus before family in my context, and in yours? Well, it will probably look quite different to what it looked like for Jim & Elisabeth Elliot. But their example is a challenging reminder for me of Jesus’ words and what it can look like to actually put Jesus first even before our own family.